Over this past couple of days I have had some secret and not so secret moments of tears. Watching your kids go through times of pain, struggle or suffering, no matter how old they are, pulls at your heart to the depths of your heart that only your children hold.
Ashley’s health journey has been one of intense hurt for her and longing for Corey and the girls to have Ashley at home. The other day while sitting in the office trying desperately to get caught up on my paper work, waiting to hear about her surgery, a thought came over me that has left me pondering.
This might seem odd to be talking about the crucifixion of Christ now, after all it is Christmas right? Crucifixion is only an Easter topic right? No, that is not right. The birth of Jesus and His crucifixion apply every day. Today I was thinking about Jesus, and His compassion to His Mom when he was crucified.
“So the soldiers did these things, but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!”And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” John 19:23-27
Jesus knows the aching heart of a Mother, He watched His Mom witness his crucifixion and would have seen into her eyes the pain that she would have been carrying. He made sure that His mom would be ok and taken care of after He was gone…not only to death, but after resurrection and when He ascended. I can’t imagine the pain that Mary must have felt watching the horrid injustice that Jesus suffered. I can’t bare to think of something like that to my child, and to know, as she did, that Jesus was the Son of God…oh the pain she carried.
I found such comfort to know that Jesus knows my heart for my children and grandchildren. He knows the pain physically and emotionally that Ashley bares as Mom wanting to be with the girls. He saw pain in his Mom’s heart and eyes and he sees ours. I am sure Mary didn’t know how to pray that day, what to say, what to feel but she stood by her Son… no matter what was to take place. Jesus knows that about Mom’s and Dad’s too. He knows that we love deeply those that He has trusted to us for our care and keeping.
I am at peace knowing that He sees Ashley’s pain and is there with her, with Corey and with the girls. I know he sees Darwin’s hurt and concern for his “little girl”. And, I am counting a blessing tonight of His compassion for His Mom. Funny how sometimes verses speak to our hearts differently at different times isn’t? Whenever I am faced with something with any of my kids I am taken back to these verses, and I find a sense of peace. I don’t have any control over the lives of my children and grandchildren, not even a little bit. I can say with confidence that Jesus sees my heart and love for my children and grandchildren and when I cry , or when I laugh, or ponder, or sit beside their bed praying as they sleep, I know He recognizes the heart of a Mom because He loved His Mom. He saw to it she would be cared for, and I am trusting that He is caring for Ashley not only as patient but also as Mom, and for me too… in my most honoured roll of Mom.
Love, Hugs n’ Prayers