Being a Mom is one of the treasures of this life that can be compared to nothing else. I adore my husband and would stand before a freight train for him. I love my children and would derail a train for them to do whatever I could to protect them.
I always thought I would have the right answers for any situation that they may come across that would challenge their lives. I thought, “it is my job to make them all better, happy and safe”. If that was true, then I have failed.
When kids are little you can hold them, rock them, defend them and protect them. As adults you can give them a hug, when they want one. If you try and rock them you are gonna end up with a black eye (just kidding). And if you step into the area of trying to protect them you are at the risk of overstepping the bounds and creating friction between you. Just as a child whether little or an adult must exercise respect for their parent, so must a parent exercise respect for their child… and when they are adults the respect for them is often shown in stepping back. At times it is a view point that means you were right in some of the advice you gave, and other times it means you have to eat dirt and realize it was a good idea they didn’t take your advice.
I am thankful for all my kids and the adults they are. They are four amazing people whom I am very proud of. I am thankful for my granddaughters and the two wonderful people they have become, you just can’t help but be proud of them all.
Struggling tonight with wanting to make Ashley well and the feeling that I haven’t been able to “derail” this for her and make her well and home. I have to tell you though, I am not counting on me to make the changes. I am praying that God will work in her body and create a healing pattern that will soon get her home to Corey and the kids. I am praying for Doctors and Nurses and all the people working with her and on her to find the answer and bring her home. I see her weekly for 24 hours a day for 4 days but I miss her. I miss her smile and I miss watching her in her life being the amazing woman she is. For now, I stand in awe watching the amazing woman she is in this time. The notes she writes the kids, the phone calls to Corey and the constant reminder that wants to reach out to people in this time with a good witness of being a Christian.
I can’t fix the situation and that’s where the struggle comes for me. So tonight, I am just going to pray, probably fight some tears too. Rest doesn’t always come easy these days. We are all tired, and weary and tonight I will seek rest.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”
Hugs n Payers