Tea Buns and Tears

It has been awhile since I sat down to write in my blog.  When my Mom passed away in June it was like my desire to write, paint, sing and garden was tucked away with her body as she was buried.  I know my Mom is in the presence of Jesus and I know that is the place she wanted to be so deeply, but I still miss her.

Mom’s good  serving dish, her tea cups and my new found tea buns.                                                            (Photo credit, Heartbeats House Photography)

Yesterday I was in a local market and found what Mom and I would call Tea buns. When I would come home after I had moved away from home Mom and I used to go for tea and would have a tea bun.  It was something that was held very dear to both of us as “our” time.   We would share what had been going on in our lives and would share a tear or a few belly laughs.   For years we hadn’t been able to find any tea buns when she and Dad would come and visit for a few weeks each year.   Well, yesterday when I saw those tea buns tears began to fall.   In my heart I thought “Mom, I found some… oh how I wish you were here!”  As the tears started to fall my daughter and granddaughters wanted to know why and gave of their heart and arms as I tried to get myself composed and not just sit on the floor and cry.  God blessed my heart with a wonderful family and these three girls hold huge keys into knowing how to love on me with their lives.  I am so blessed.

I just finished one of the tea buns and it made me think of some of the things Mom and I would talk about.   She was amazing at giving me wings to try and do the things I wanted to and would give wisdom in to what she saw for me in life.   Always, always Mom would tell me to seek out God’s will in my life through prayer and the bible.   I often hear her telling me to be still and let God have his way in directing my life.   Somehow that seemed easier when she was still here and would walk me through my tears over life stuff.   Now, I have to remind myself of that same wisdom because the strength really came through Jesus, not my Mom.  Her council was her wisdom but the strength and ability to walk life has always been Jesus and his all present power.

IMG_1017.jpgMom used to encourage me to write.  She shared in the desire to write as does my daughter and amazing writers they are!   Mom used to tell me to write from my heart what God prompted me to write and to share of His love through my hands.   I made up my mind today that I was going to write again.   I don’t have a huge following, but I pray that in some way through time that God will use what He puts into my heart in the lives of those it reaches.    Today through my tears  I feel closer to Mom just writing.

I leave you with this encouragement for today:

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”  Romans 15:13

With Hugs n Prayers




One Comment Add yours

  1. mitzybricker says:

    This is beautiful, Jackie. Our mom passed in June 2013. I’m not sure one ever stops missing a momma. I wrote a series of blogs about her a few years ago entitled The Legacy Our Mom Left. It was wonderful writing them. Blessings to you in your sorrow. Jesus is walking beside you I know.

    Blue Rock Horses Frederick County, Virginia bluerockhorses.com

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