One year ago today my Mom left our hands and went to be in the presence of the one she served faithfully for many, many years. … Her Lord and Saviour … Jesus. From the time I was a little girl I remember Mom talking and living out her faith in Jesus in so many ways. From the small gifts she would make, to the large investment of time in listening to someone’s woes and joys. Very seldom when visiting Mom did a visit go by that she didn’t refer to Jesus or a verse or just reference to her desire to be with Him. For Mom it was never about being in Heaven, it was about being in the presence of the one she loved so deeply.
I grew up hearing Mom sing at church, ladies luncheons and well, all over the house! I loved it! I miss it … I miss her. I was thinking, what is it I miss about Mom the most and here is the list I came up with.
- Her voice – she had a sweet and calm voice. As a kid that calm would change to fury when we would step out of line, haha…. but other than that her voice was sweet and always filled my heart when I would call her and she would say “Hi Sweetie”. Oh I miss that.
- Her love for Jesus – we would get into some interesting conversations and would most always, no matter the situation, the direction of the conversation would come to Jesus love and care. Whether it be “wait on the Lord”, “seek Him in His word” or “be still in the Lord”. I hear those sentiments a lot in my heart, because she lived her love for Jesus in that way.
- Her skin – I miss holding her hand when I visit. I miss feeling her hugs and her skin against my face. I am sure that God gave her the softest skin around to match the heart of a woman who exemplified a soft heart.
- Her love for her family – She loved / loves us all. I know she is present with Jesus but I know she left so much love for all of us in the letters she would write, or cards or just the way she would take interest to everyone who came to see her or call her. She used to say to me “I am going to write a Mom Letter”. or “I am going to write a Grammy Letter”. When she would say that I knew that those letters would be filled with heart and wisdom and love from the Mom/Grammy who loved deeply and sincerely.
- Her stories – she would tell stories of when she was younger and I would try and imagine what she would have been like as a little girl. I always had images of what things would have been like for her as a girl with her Mom dying when my Mom was 5. She walked life without her Mom and I know that she was looking forward to spending eternity with her at Jesus feet.
- Her prayers – there was something special about knowing Mom was praying. If she said she was going to pray for you, believe me she did. She prayed for many people who never knew that had an intercessor before the one true God that talked to Him on their behalf. My Mom prayed me through many situations growing up and write up to the time she said good bye. My desire is to follow Mom in that way. To carrying people to the one she taught me to love.
A year ago when she took her last breath she took a piece of all of our hearts. I know she wouldn’t want me “blubbering” and carrying on with the tears forever, but rather to face the days knowing that Jesus is the one that will walk me / us through this time. She was a wonderful Mom, and yes I had the privilege to have her a long time, but no matter the time line, I miss her.
I live with great hope that the Jesus Mom taught me about and lived an example of what it is to be faithful to Him, is who she is with. I live with great hope that when the time comes that my last breath will be, that I will get to worship Jesus with her once again, but this time we won’t ever be apart and there will be no more good-byes. My longing is to be in the presence of Jesus and sing praise to Him. To know I will get to do that with my Mom brings great joy and peace.
The first time I remember Mom talking about Jesus was telling me “no matter where you are, no matter what you ever do, no matter what, Jesus is always there. He always loves and always will help you.” That has been true in my life through the good the bad and the ugly choices I have made, but it is even more true today as I face this life without her. Thank you Mom for your faithfulness to Jesus and to us as a family. We miss you, love you and look forward to seeing you again and together singing “Crown Him with Many Crowns”
Hugs n ‘ Prayers